Well, I suppose it's time to say again where we're at, what we've been up to, and what we're learning.  The biggest thing I personally have learned so far is that making a movie takes a lot more than a great idea.  Technical problem solving has been the main focus of the project for the last week or so.

As movie makers rich in ambition, ideas and creativity but lacking somewhat thus far in funds and high grade equipment, we've run into what one might call a conversion problem.  We have shot a great trailer to put up on kickstarter as well as hours upon hours of amazing content that we will trickle out as it is edited.  But oh what a process the editing is!  The files that our camera records in need to be converted for compatibility with even the most generalized editing software.  As it turns out, the more you mess with video files, the lower quality they are.  So, what we do is convert little bits at a time and try to manipulate the files best we can to make it into something we can share.  What we really need for this is a super powerful computer capable of handling the high quality video files we have.


The next step, then, is fundraising.  Content, so far, has been no problem.  As it turns out, people with a story are incredibly willing to tell it.  We've had interviews every weekend and captured some great material relating to local drug culture, motivation to get clean and the impact of the judicial system.  Now, the priority is to get high quality editing equipment, multiple cameras, an audio deck and lapel mics.  But, of course, it all costs money.  So, what do we do about that?  Events and collaboration with other artists seems to be our ticket to the small time of independent movie making.

In November, Chickeebob (a band) and Sudworks Brewery have been kind enough to host a benefit to raise money and awareness of our project.  We also have a line on at least two other restaurants that would be willing to donate their building for us to have a fundraising event.  A great friend and champion of the project, Christie Marie, has also generously donated a few flip cameras.  These record in a simpler format that's easy to edit, giving us the ability to create a usable trailer quickly.  With multiple cameras, even though they may not be professional grade, we can create visual interest and show potential contributors what we can do and why they should support the project through to fruition.

As we reach out, we are finding a lot of like minded citizens willing to pitch in what they can.  I would now like to reach out to the blog readers out there.  What do you want to see from the project?  What events might you attend?  Comment directly on the blog or like us on facebook at facebook.com/escapegettinghighandgettingout and give us feedback there.  If you can, click the donate button and even if you can't, tell your friends!

Before or shortly after you read this post, I urge you to watch our newest clip, "Last House on the Block".  It is footage taken from our very first day of filming when we interviewed a buddy of mine, Kenny.  Although there is a lot of footage of Kenny telling us his story, I chose the clip of him giving us a tour of his home because I think it says so much about what you can really expect as a recovering addict with a record.


Kenny would most deffinately be considered a success story.  He has worked harder than most and also has been luckier than many in his sobriety.  Kenny has had numerous opportunities to go to treatment rather than prison and, ultimately, it was in a rehab program that he found the strength and courage to quit drugs for good.  After his last go in rehab and in the beginnings of sobriety, Kenny went to a halfway house where he was able to gradually re-assimilate into the world as a sober person.  He found employment and eventually moved into the apartment complex where he now lives.   Kenny believes whole heartedly in the 12 steps which helped him get clean.  He is greatful for what he receives, proud of what he earns and holds no resentment for his situation.  He has one of the most positive outlooks of anyone I've met.  As you watch him give the tour of his home, though, I want you to think about what it takes to stay positive in a room with no windows.  Think of how difficult it would be to stay off drugs when the only housing you can afford his right next to neighbors who have drugs.  Many of us have difficulty just saying no to a slice of cheesecake when offered at a shared table.  Times that feeling by a thousand and you might have an idea of what it is for an addict to say no to crystal meth when they're feeling down.

So, what can we as a society learn from Kenny's success story?  Kenny would tell you that nothing he goes through is undeserved.  He knows he did bad things and committed crimes in his addiction and he doesn't play the victim.  But how about the broader picture?  What about people who aren't as strong as Kenny?  Or those who just can't take the faith in God route as Kenny did?  Just for a moment, put aside ideas about punishment or retribution and think about what it takes to make someone into a stronger link in the community chain.

From my own experience getting clean, and later working in behavioral/ mental health, I can tell you that the best motivation for improvement in behavior is a tangible incentive that relates directly to intrinsic motivators.  For example, you get a job to have money; but a model employee goes above and beyond because they have respect and appreciation for a good work environment.  People who aren't happy at work, though, only do enough to not get fired.  The same concept can be applied to all facets of life, including the struggle for sobriety.  By restricting drug felons to a semi permanent space of restriction where financial potential is stunted and full acceptance by society is just barely unattainable, we are robbing ourselves of the contributions these people could make to our communities.  The best case scenario for a drug felon is that they do just enough to not get fired from life.  Felons can't vote so they are rarely involved in politics.  Denial of social services reinforces feelings of isolation.  And the inability to escape physical proximity to those still using confirms that, as far as society is concerned, your identity is as a junkie regardless of what you do to prove otherwise.

I found a few points of interest on the Bureau of Justice web page.   Click http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/dcf/contents.cfm  or like us on facebook if you'd like to check out the data direct from the source.

I'm particularly interested in what I saw under the 'enforcement' heading on the website.  There are three charts about drug arrests/ violations from 1982- 2007.  For those of you who are too young to remember, that is about the time that our fine President Reagan began his campaign against drugs.  The DARE program was started as well as the War on Drugs, both of which could now be said to have thoroughly failed in their goals.  A few stats from this page are:


The number of "drug abuse violations" has tripled within 25 years.

The number of arrests for possession has tripled while arrests for sales or manufacture has stayed somewhat stagnant as of 2007.

The highest rising population of drug users (at least that the police know about) are adults, not juveniles.

Now lets talk about treatment options once you're caught.  98.6% of all offenders on probation do have some sort of drug related condition.  Only 41% of the total were sentenced to treatment, though.  The rest were only tested for drugs as part of probation.  What does treatment mean?  In most cases, treatment is court ordered Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings.  Only 20% of people were put in any kind of structured program.

Lets be clear here.  These statistics are only referring to non- violent crimes.  We are talking participation in drug activity only, no theft, no assault, nothing more than being around drugs.  In fact, we are mostly talking about simple possession, not even high level stuff.  Sales and manufacture is the big time; that's where drugs hit the market with smuggling and organized cartel type activity.  Those arrests have barely changed since the 80s.  So, with all the efforts of law enforcement to be harder, stricter, and more proactive about curbing the nation's drug problem, the biggest change is that drug use has gone up exponentially.

You would think, then, that the response would be to increase treatment efforts proportionately.  If most of the problem is people using, why spend millions of dollars housing them in jail?  Why not provide treatment, teach them how to be a valued member of society?  Why not make the most of our human capital?  Well, I don't know the answers to why not.  But I can tell you that of the $15,552,500,000 earmarked for the National Drug Control budget last year, the business plan only set aside 36% for treatment, prevention and research combined.


As we press onward, battling recession, low wages, corporate welfare and a poof be gone tax policy, I urge you to think about this problem.  It is not only a personal issue or one of community minded morality.  Drastic changes and humanitarian efforts when it comes to drugs simply makes good fiscal sense!  Given that most of what law enforcement deals with are just low level junkies looking for a fix, it seems natural to simply treat the mental health issue.  Something to think about.

For more thoughts and musings, or just one liners, keep checking back and like us on Facebook!

Our first day of filming out and about, walking around downtown Sacramento just for fun and practice, we met a couple of ladies coming out of church who agreed to talk to us.  I thought they might offer a good cross section of standard public opinion, but they had one comment that raised a particularly interesting concept.  This lady said that she didn't feel qualified to speak on drug addiction because she'd never known an addict, but later commented that she'd known a lot of people whose lives had been torn apart by alcoholism.  The idea that alcohol is somehow different than any other drug isn't an uncommon one.  So I ask, what's the difference?
Some facts that we know about alcohol are that it is physically addictive, it clouds the mind and impairs judgment, can cause multiple organ failures, slows reaction times, can cause permanent brain damage and a whole host of other things.  All of the facts I've just stated about alcohol can be applied, verbatim, to heroin.  In fact, heroin and alcohol are the only two drugs western medicine is aware of where the withdrawals alone can cause death.  Alcoholics in need of a drink have been known to get violent, rob, steal, cheat and commit a host of other debasing acts of debauchery in order to get a fix.  It sounds a lot like the problems associated with addiction to all the hard core illegal drugs.  The only difference that I can see is the legality of alcohol means you can go to the liquor store for a bottle instead of the alley for a bag.
Join me in examining this through the critical lens of a documentarian.  First off, we learned through prohibition in the 20s that making a substance illegal doesn't decrease its use.  In fact, prohibition was repealed because it not only solved zero problems with alcohol, but created a market for organized crimes to manufacture and sell underground.  Sound familiar?  That's the situation we've created in regards to every illegal drug out there.  As we learned from alcohol prohibition, underground markets create opportunities for auxiliary crimes like smuggling, violence and selling on the street.  As long as substances in demand are prohibited by law, crime syndicates, cartels, mobsters and all the rest will flourish and no solution will be found.
 What about escaping your addiction, though?  What role does legality and social stigma play in that?  Well, since alcohol is a legal drug, you can generally quit without becoming a registered drug offender.  Even if you go to jail and are sentenced to a treatment program, your charges aren't drug related.  People will tend to forgive the transgressions of someone who overuses a legal drug more than the very same acts committed by a crack head.  You can also take time off work to go to rehab without fear of losing your job if you're an alcoholic; it's the law.  But if you go to your boss and say you have a problem with meth, you will probably not be welcomed back.  Although the law entitles you to time off for treatment, you can be fired for being under the influence of an illegal substance at work.  I personally know a lot of people who have gotten DUIs and been forgiven.  Not only are they forgiven, it is almost as though there is no need for forgiveness.  Am I alone in the thought that operating massive, motorized projectile while under the influence is a serious offense on par with wielding a deadly weapon?  Somehow I think that there would be a lot less forgiveness, legally and socially, for someone driving on quaaludes.
So, the church ladies comments go a long way to demonstrate the intersection of reality and perception.  Factually and physically, there is very little if any difference between alcohol and heroin.  They act virtually the same on the mind and body.  Yet, an unscathed escape from alcoholism, complete with full acceptance into jobs and life and society, is much easier than from heroin.  The only real life difference that I can see is how it is treated within the law, and how the penal code colors public perception.  It is because of perceptions like this that we keep pressing on with the question, "why doesn't our system work and why isn't it changing?"

Watch the Church Ladies clip and others in the video section, and keep a lookout for more blogs!

Finally, another blog!  I apologize for the inactivity.  I moved and have been without internet.  Even my last blog on Guy, I will admit, was written hastily at a friend's house after a long day at work.  But we haven't been sitting idle!  Even if I've lagged on writing about it, there's been plenty of work happening on the film.

This past weekend we filmed a bit for a trailer/ advertisement to put on kickstarter.  It was a trying day for me because, as the idea lady, I was the on camera personality.  It worked out well, though.  We filmed it at my house, in my kitchen with my cast iron pans displayed in the background.  Although the trailer itself doesn't focus so much on my personal story, those who follow the making of this movie will hear all about how food and cooking has impacted my life and sobriety; so I think it's fitting.  The real challenge was what to talk about!  I frequently give my little spiel on what the movie is about to friends and family, but I hadn't realized how many facets are really being explored here.  Of course, detail is important when asking for money, so we ended up getting about 3 hours of footage which will be cut down into a 3 minute spot. 


I talked about the concept of different rules for different people.  Society sees time and time again a different reality for rich versus poor.  In the clip, I mentioned George W. and Obama's past drug use, but any celebrity or socialite can be an equally good example of this.  For one, if you have money, you probably don't need to commit extra crimes for your fix.  Even more important, though, is the ability to buy your way into treatment and out of jail.  And then, later in life, you can just write off your addiction as something not so serious because you never had a record.  People without money, who did end up as registered drug offenders, who made the SAME bad choices but actually faced the consequences, are set aside as untouchables unworthy of community inclusion.

The value of perception is another key idea in this movie.  What is the difference between heroin and alcohol?  Legality, that's about it.  They are the only two drugs where the withdrawal alone can kill you, they are two of the most physically addictive drugs known to man.  Opiates and alcohol act on the body in much the same ways.  Motley Crew and VH1's "Behind the Music" showed the world that alcohol can even be shot into your veins, just like heroin.  But because alcohol is legal, it's use and abuse is forgiven.  You can get drunk and kill someone in a car accident, beat your wife, pee on your friend's furniture, and commit any number of crimes to get money for booze.  Once you're sober, you're wiped of your sins.  Welcome to the wide world of double standards, Mr. Alcoholic, where you are congratulated on your bravery for getting sober while your cousin, Ms. Methhead, gets a lifetime of being bent over by the system.  (more on this in the next blog, we have a great clip to accompany it)

What about time?  Say you're under the influence and you get into a car accident.  If you're drunk, you get a DUI, maybe criminal charges depending on damage, probably ordered into AA meetings and on your merry way you go.  If you're high, let's say on meth, then you get all of the above but your car will also get searched.  Odds are, as a meth addict, you have a stash of meth with you.  It doesn't take a whole lot for it to be a felony with meth; it is one of the more illicit of all the illicit substances.  Now you sit in county jail awaiting a trial and/ or sentencing.  I hope you weren't a working junkie, because your job is gone now.  If you're lucky, you get to go to rehab instead of prison.  (This is a sentence often reserved for more minor offenses or women with children).  You go through a minimum of 3 months (probably more) in a treatment facility and then are faced with 3-5 years of probation or parole.  During this time, you need permission to leave the county and all jobs outside of regular business hours need to be approved by the courts.  So, since you can't pass even the most preliminary of checks into your personal history, you're looking at a minimum wage job and you can't even tell them you'll take the night shift.  After probation is over, as a drug felon you still have the privilege of being a registered drug offender for another 3-5 years.  That's like being a registered sex offender.  You're on a list available to the public so that it is much easier for people to see who they should discriminate against.  Since most jobs care about criminal history for the last 7 years, that's how long it will be after you're off the drug offender list before you can think of yourself truly free.  Say you're 20 when you get arrested.  You immediately shape up, you get clean and go to school.  You're totally qualified to be a valued and productive member of society.  You get to wait almost 20 years before you can do anything about it.  Congratulations, you got sober.

These are just a few of the things mentioned in the trailer, which we are going to edit tonight!  Watch for info on when you can find us on kickstarter as well as more blogs breaking down all the many parts and ideas we're exploring.

I'm sure you've all (the few of you who read this so far) had a chance to see the video "Guy on Drugs".  Guy is just a dude we met on the street.  We thought he might have some insight into the drug world because he kinda looks like a scuzzy hippie man who has seen/ done drugs.  But we were pleasantly surprised both by what he said and the eloquence with which he said it.  Right on the surface, Guy reinforces the message that books should not be judged by covers.  In reviewing his footage, I feel like one main theme can be extrapolated:  people who do drugs are searching for some magical external force to fill a void within themselves; which is in turn replaced by God or recovery or methadone as a means of treatment.

I think it has become common knowledge at this point that people who do drugs are seeking an external power to combat internal struggle.  It's a pretty common sense concept: happy people don't feel the need to escape reality by getting high.  Guy makes an interesting point about the way we treat this affliction by replacing one drug with another.  Methadone is an obvious example of this; it is literally a mind altering substance used for the purpose of quitting a different mind altering substance.  But Guy also mentions a "cult like" mentality coming with recovery.  Now, far be it from me to knock what works.  A life without drugs is an improvement from a life with drugs, no matter what your life looks like.  What about the thousands, if not millions, of people it doesn't work for, though?  It makes me wonder, is filling your life with a higher power and forever labeling yourself an addict the best way to further yourself into a position of community participation?  Perhaps a better option would be to offer some treatment programs that do not use the 12 steps, but rather a supportive learning space where true life skills can be honed.  The standard recovery technique requires that one choose a higher power, admit powerlessness, list all wrong doings, rinse and repeat.  You are to go to meetings for the rest of your life, the whole of your identity forever defined by the days when you got high.  But what about the future?  Jobs that pay enough for you to take vacations with your children, home ownership and retirement plans, political participation.  What about being a valued member of your community?  I'm just saying... maybe what makes a person tick is multifaceted and largely located within themselves.

Today I'd like to tell you about a man named Oliver.  While filming at a shelter in what most people think of as a pretty bad neighborhood, we met Oliver.  He is a very large man in height and girth, a potentially intimidating presence if you were to see him walking toward you, say, in a dark alley.  Oliver doesn't like dark alleys, though, and once he speaks I can't see how anyone would want to do anything other than give him a big hug.

Oliver saw our camera and walked up to us enthusiastically, asking if we were making a movie.  When I explained that yes, we were making a movie about real life, Oliver promptly began to tell us about his.  I couldn't ask for a more open interview subject.  On that particular day, Oliver was focused on his physical health.  He'd just gotten out of the hospital after having major surgery.  He told us about a fight he'd had not long ago where someone attacked him and stabbed him repeatedly.  He says that the other man was probably on "that meth" and didn't know what he was doing.  Oliver had never seen the man before.  He didn't seem terribly angry over his situation, and before long it became clear that in addition to being a very nice man, Oliver also had some cognitive impairments.  He has been told he gets disability because he is schizophrenic but he doesn't know what that means.  When asked if he's on medicine, he said he takes pills for cholesterol but no one ever told him there were pills for schizophrenia.

I asked Oliver how he came to be in this situation, homeless and spending his days as a shelter.  He told me that his disability had been cut off while he was in jail.  He hasn't renewed it yet because he has trouble reading and no one has helped him fill out the paperwork.  Oliver has a long history in the criminal justice system, he first went to the California Youth Authority (prison for juveniles) when he was a teenager.  He says he was charged with stealing from a store.  Oliver freely admits to the misdeeds of his past.  He is one of over 30 children by his father and has always shown respect by being obedient.  As a youngster, he was in a gang because that's what was around in his neighborhood, everyone listened to the people in gangs. 

 When Oliver was 19, out of CYA and following the rules he'd learned, he got shot in the head.  He proudly showed his scars to the camera and told us how it happened.  He was walking down the street one day, apparently looking very similar to a 30 something year old hardened criminal, when the police began to yell at him.  Oliver got confused and didn't know what to do, the next thing he knew he was in the hospital.  Oliver has continued to be stuck in a revolving door of jail and homelessness since then.

The most disturbing thing to me about Oliver's story is not that someone with limited understanding of consequences continuously goes to jail, or that he is denied his disability money because he has trouble reading the forms, or even that a doctor diagnosed him with a debilitating but treatable mental illness and didn't even take the time to explain what that means let alone prescribe medications.  The worst of all of this is that Oliver has been back to jail numerous times but never committed a new crime.  He keeps getting violated on probation because he misses court dates.  Oliver has trouble remembering numbers and days.  And with all of the assessments and diagnosing that happens in jail, no one ever thought to say "this guy needs help more than a cell".

Oliver is a prime example of how the system drops people in inescapable situations and then abandons them.  Oliver says that what he learned in jail is that you have to follow the rules and be good.  He doesn't realize that following the rules that judges and corrections officers have given him aren't doing him any good.  The only drug Oliver ever did was weed and he doesn't even do that anymore because at some point someone told him that drugs make people sick.  By living a life in institutions, Oliver was taught to trust most the people who leave him homeless.  He isn't in a gang anymore, he doesn't steal, but he does sleep outside.  At least if he stole he might have food, if he were in a gang there might be someone to look after him.  When asked if there was something that could have been done to help him when he was young, Oliver told us it just would've been good if his mother had lived longer, expressing no anger or appreciation for the severity of the treatment he's received.

Keep checking the video tab for clips of Oliver and other interesting people! 

                  Hello All!  As the first of many blogs, I'd like to take this opportunity to describe what it is you can expect to find in this section.  Really, it's everything.  This is going to be the information hub of the site.  You can count on new entries at least every week but probably a whole lot more.  I will be posting updates on where we're at in the project, what we're filming, what we need and anything else I can think of.  I encourage all to comment and make this a forum also.
                 So, what have we been up to so far?  The idea came to me last spring during my last quarter at UCD.  I approached Richard and Steven because they have dreams of film making, and so we started.  So far, we've interviewed a few of my friends and gone out 'on the street' a few times to talk to random people.  We've had some great luck with interviews, we've talked to people who are homeless, people who are sober, people who sell drugs because they don't know what else to do.  We are now at the point of editing a trailer and showcasing some of our footage.  Why would we want to leak our ideas onto the internet?  Money!  Not just money, we have come to the stage in filming where some added equipment is necessary.  We need a second video camera, an audio deck, lapel mics and such things.  We also want to just get the idea out there.  This is a truly independent film; no corporate sponsers, no commercial influence.  The people who care about seeing the film are the ones who will help make it happen.  We are open to donations of money, of course, but also donations of services, knowledge or equipment.  All comments are welcome; personal anecdotes, musings and filming experiences to follow.